Day 2141 – Day 2147
This has been a strange week or two. When, in 2020, has it not been a strange? In my personal life, however, it has been strange and it has been strained.
I had the great good fortune to go kayaking off of Bowen Island this past weekend. It is one of my favourite bodies of water and one of my favourite things to do and I got to do it with some of my favourite people. Three great things for which I can be grateful, right there. I had a busy night the evening prior to going kayaking and I was in the bathtub, washing off garden mud around midnight. To keep me from falling asleep in the tub, I turned on a video from YouTube and as I have auto play enabled, YouTube just picks a video for me based on some formula. I’ve ended up in some pretty wonderful places and I’ve ended up in some weird places, too.
YouTube played into what is called a pick-a-card Tarot reading about romance. (Can you see the eye roll that I just did?) I was in the bath so I listened to all three options, one after the other. They all had much the same advice. But in one pile, the reader told the viewer to look for signs in the coming weeks and they suggested watching for repeating number patterns. Well, we all know that I’ve been seeing repeating number patterns for months now, specifically 11:11, so when the reader said: “Or, you can pick your own sign and ask the Universe to send you the sign when your future spouse is near, or on the way into your life,” feeling cheeky, I said: hummingbird. I’ve actually only once seen hummingbirds, in my entire life. So, given that I’ve lived 257 years (or so it feels) and all of it has been as a single person, I figured hummingbird would give the Universe a sign that was as likely to appear as my future spouse was likely to walk into my life.
With 3 hours sleep in the tank, I managed to arrive on time for the ferry and our great adventure on the water. It was a glorious day. It was a hard paddle, but we saw lots of lovely birds and seals along the way. As soon as I felt wind in my hair, however, I left my crew, announcing that I was going to turn back. I’m the weakest paddler and so I knew that if a wind had come up, we were going to be facing a tide against us on the way home. I had no idea that we were going to face the kind of waves that we did. Three times I thought I would either capsize or smash into the rocks and be left with shards of a kayak. I had to paddle hard and I had to paddle fast. Once you’re in surf like that you either work the waves or the waves work you. I was scared for about 15 minutes there and then I was scared for my friends, who were far behind me, having to battle that treacherous section of coastline as the wind continued to pick up.
We all made it back, though we agreed that this was not a day out for an inexperienced paddler. It felt great to sit safely on the dock, having a drink and nursing our strained arm muscles as we awaited the ferry that would take us home. We watched boats launch and then one of the guys in our group pointed at a nearby bush:
“Look, it’s a hummingbird,” he exclaimed.
I stared in disbelief. Less than 24 hours after I had asked for a sign, the sign appeared. I specifically asked for something that had, up to this point in my life, been rare.
No, I’m not marrying the fellow. I’m not marrying anyone. Is my future spouse in my life? Or are they on their way into my life? I don’t know. I’m single and wasn’t looking for a spouse when I got in the bathtub the night before. I’m not in a rush to find a spouse. But I can’t shake the feeling that the hummingbird’s presence was the Universe showing her power and her magic.
About 10 days ago, I received an email from my meditation group. It was an article from our spiritual teacher and a part of the article talked about how we have forgotten how to see the magic in the natural world and forgotten how to talk to the natural world. I think we’ve completely forgotten the magic in the fabric of life, entirely. What Carl Jung would have called synchronicity gets explained away as confirmation bias or coincidence. Was my hummingbird a coincidence? Possibly. Did I only notice the hummingbird out of the hundreds of other observations and birds we saw while kayaking? No, but it did stand out. Was it a sign? Well, maybe it was.
My spiritual teacher says that we must be attentive to signs, on this path. It seems to me that I asked the Universe to speak to me and the hummingbird appeared, speaking to me in a language I don’t yet understand.
The day that I had received the article, I decided to forward it to a good friend of mine with whom I share many of our teacher’s videos and articles. My friend and I talk a great deal about spirituality and I think it is what makes our friendship so deep. As I went to forward it to him, I began typing his name and someone else’s email appeared. They didn’t share the same letters in their name at all. Well, that was weird.
I sat with it for a good 5 minutes, wondering if I should send the article to the person whose email appeared. I’ve never met that man, but I do care about him. We were experiencing something of a conflict and looking back, I was afraid that our connection might be irreparably strained. I was afraid to reach out with an email from a spiritual teacher that he did not know, in the wake of conflict. So, I deleted his email address and typed in my friend’s address in its place.
Last night, my meditation group met by video conference to discuss the article. Our big take-away was that we needed to work to redefine our place in the natural world and to learn to communicate with. heal, and be healed by the non-human world of which we are a part. This was going to require new symbols and working with new devices to tell a new story of creation. It might feel like a kind of magic was unfolding.
Also last night, the person with whom I had been in conflict posted something suggesting that the pathways of communication may still open between us.
This evening, I sat down to write this post and it has taken me about 5 hours to know what to say. While I waited, I listened to music and thought about the weird week or two that I’ve been living. I thought about the magic of the hummingbird that appeared just when I asked for a sign. I did a little google search this evening and found that in the Indigenous traditions of the Northwest Coast, where I live, the hummingbird is a symbol of healing, and a bringer of love, joy and luck. I thought about the email address that appeared where it was not expected to be, and I put my doubts aside. If that hummingbird taught me anything, it was to believe in a little magic.
I sent the article where it seems that it was intended to be sent, 10 days ago. If it is the Divine’s intent, I hope it works a little magic in his life, too.
For what are you most grateful, today?