Ten Thousand Days

Still to be Still

March 29, 2022

Photo: Harli Marten

Day 2672 – Day 2782

It’s been a minute since my last post. One hundred and ten days, it seems.  That seems like an auspicious number so it’s time to write.

I have been writing weekly for those who subscribe to my email list, and that is about all I can muster at the moment.   If you’d like to read what I have to say then you can subscribe here.

I’ve also not been writing much here because there is someone who has trolled me for quite awhile – someone who I picked up on YouTube.  I enjoy being an inspiration to people, and I have now had to come to terms that this may mean that my content shows up as their content.  What I’m loathe to do is to provide a glimpse into my personal life to this person, during my time of mourning.  

But, I do not want to ignore my loyal readers and it is time to return to the land of the living.  I want to let you know I’m doing fine.  I’m dealing with life just the same as everyone.  Some days are wonderful and some days are catastrophic.  But on all days, if I haven’t yet done it, I count my blessings before I go to bed.  When the world seems to be falling apart and catching fire, being grateful is what keeps my head above water.

I have learned something about myself in this quiet.  I’ve spent most of my life in large cities where I am constantly able to have intellectual and artistic stimulation.  I went to an Ivy League school with some of the brightest minds in the world.  Right now, I feel completely stifled and bored.  Yes, I think we are all bored after 2 years of a pandemic, but the level of boredom I have reached has me feeling like I am in a coma.  This doesn’t mean that my life is without love, busyness or companionship.  I just need more intellectual and creative stimulation and to use my talents in more challenging work.  This is a problem I have lately identified and it is something on which I need to work.  There is nothing worse than  having a gift and not being able to use it.  And, lately, I feel like I’m becoming more and more stupid, as the world around me has been so dumbed down.  At the ego level, this is something I need to address because it will add to my happiness and challenging oneself is a great way to add more flow moments into one’s life.  I hope that you are identifying and addressing those things that are limiting your happiness.

I do enjoy writing about my personal life and so, I’m going to turn to the personal letter form.  I’m looking forward to surprising someone this weekend with a short dispatch from my life.

There is no doubt that beyond our personal lives, the world is deeply troubled.  Lies and misinformation seem to be the order of the day.  I have found that not knowing what to believe can leave me feeling paranoid – perhaps this is why we see so many conspiracy theorists out there today.  Instead, I have turned to what I do know – which is an inner knowing – that of my faith. 

I have a great bible study group and unfortunately I can usually only drop in on weekends (I used to go every day but the time of meeting has changed) because of my work schedule, but they have become “fam.”  I don’t agree with all of their interpretation of the bible but I love having an opportunity to focus on spiritual life together,  every single day (or as often as I can make it).  We have time for prayer together and this fortifies.  Gratitude and the cultivation of all the practices that I’ve talked about over the years has been a lifesaver.  Spiritual Oneness is an essential part of that.  I have another group that gathers around the teachings of my living spiritual teacher and we meet every second week for prayer, meditation and fellowship and I’ve found that invaluable as well.  My groups help keep my focus on Oneness. 

Meditation and stillness is important, perhaps even more so, now that the world seems to be teetering on chaos.  I’m not a great meditator although I know that my path in this lifetime is to meditate.  I go for a walking meditation every day, at the same time that my spiritual community is meditating, globally.  I feel that in the inner stillness, we are doing some good work on cultivating Oneness, together.

This month, on my email list, we have been placing our focus on Oneness and I have been advocating for stillness.  We all want to do something but we need to get our egos out of the way and the best way I know how to do this is through meditation.  We also need empathy for others and the humility that an awareness of Oneness brings.  I believe that the easiest gateway into all of these qualities arises in stillness.  And so, in a chaotic world, I am working still to be still.  I hope you will join me.  In a world of chaos and suffering, one of the greatest services we can provide is to actively be a witness to the suffering and in the stillness, bear all that the experience entails.


For what are you most grateful, today?

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