Day 1942 – Day 1950
From my previous post, you will know that I’m looking to renovate this website over the next month or so. It will be a DIY project so please bear with me. As it is coming to the holiday season now, I’m also doing some deep personal renovations.
I’m grateful for the year I’ve had. I came close to dying in the summertime and I cannot overstate how much this impacts one’s perspective on things. Already a soulful person, I can see that I’ve been taken deep into myself and I am still processing it all. I don’t expect to be able to communicate what this looks like except that I feel that I am being held still, so that I can experience a more profound depth with riches I hope to bring to the breadth of my life.
Gratitude is often linked to the positive psychology movement these days because – at first glance – it works in our lives by changing the way we think. Replacing the negative with the positive helps to build new neuro-pathways in the mind and we open up to seeing more positive things in our lives. This is very much an act of the Spirit, ascending to the heights of experience. But, a life fully lived does not simply rely on the call to Spirit to feed our yearnings for communion with that which is beyond ourselves. For a fully lived life, we also need to spend time tending to our Soul.
I say this is a time of renovation but first, I am being called to go within and really look into the dark corners and see what is there. I think I’ve been doing this all my adult life, but there are junctures in life where we are called downward and inward to do the work of the Soul. Being in hospital took me to a new and deeper level of this journey and where I am and where I’m going isn’t something that is easy to put into words. Art and music are better expressions of what is being processed, though I will try to send postcards from the Soul, with this writing.
On that note, I intend to do more singing in 2020 (yes, bad pun intended), and I will be updating my artwork section of the website. I haven’t updated it since I first started painting. I’m happy to say that I have over 100 artworks now and I will find a way to share many of them with you. I’ve experimented with style a lot in the last few years and the work reflects this. I see a real change in my painting, since I left the hospital. Hopefully, in 2020, I will be creating a body of artwork that has a cohesive sensibility, as I work from this ineffable place, within me. I’m grateful for your continued patience as I fix the bugs on my website, become a better painter and musician, and figure out how best to link the written word with my other forms of creative expression.
I have some goals for the coming year and exciting new ventures that I hope you will find enticing. Having come through 2019, I am more committed than ever to spending my time in ways that add Meaning to my life and help make Meaning in life, for others. If I had a blueprint for 2020, it would be, simply: Making Meaning. We often talk about wanting to ‘find’ meaning in our lives. I think perhaps this is the first step on the journey and one I had intended for 2019. Meaning can be found anywhere through connection, or what I call Oneness. Once we’ve learned to make connections, perhaps the next step is to add value to those connections in a way that matters. This is one way to live purposefully. And, perhaps my experiences were necessary to humble me enough to get it: we only have this moment. Let’s make it meaningful. I’m grateful for coming so close to death and still finding in that, connection. I’m grateful to be alive to use what I have learned.
I ask your indulgence if I post irregularly during this holiday season. I want to prioritize time with family and friends, and with reflecting on the meaning of this year. I wish you all wonderful winter celebrations, whatever holiday causes you to congregate at this time of year. Even as we become more social, I want to remind us all that it is okay to go inward during these long nights. Soon, we begin the journey back to the light. Let’s do our inner work to get ready!
For what are you most grateful, right now?
What is your blueprint for 2020?