Gratitude, Joy, Oneness and Service (Day 753 – Day 767)
This weekend I traveled to Portland where I undertook a course on shamanic journeying. I have been journeying in many different ways and this seemed the right next step in my life. I thought it would be easy for me. In some ways, it was. In other ways, it has been tremendously challenging.
In life, we get dished up some good and some bad and some things that we need to address. If we don’t address them, they don’t go away. They simply lay in wait until the next opportunity comes for them to present themselves and allow us to resolve them. If you think the Spirit world is any different, you’d be mistaken. There, what we need to address comes at us fast and with a ferocity that can and did make me sick. I’ve since journeyed for several other people and stepping into another person’s journey is not something to undertake lightly. I wish someone had warned me that not all journeys are beautiful adventures on the wings of an eagle. Some can make you downright sick and leave you with an emotional hangover that is hard to shake. Being a healer of any kind can really take a toll. It should be no surprise that Spiritual healing is the most profound but also the most disruptive for the one who is the seeker and the one who seeks on their behalf.
That said, I’m so glad I went. Many posts ago, I spoke about feeling vulnerable about stepping into this kind of work and despite that, I have taken the leap. It feels right. And, I wasn’t quite ready for how disorienting it would be. So, as I do when I need a bit of grounding and regrouping, I come here tonight, to share with you.
Like what I found in the Spiritual journeying, the practice of gratitude is not about looking for the bright side of life. If we always just drop our negativity and replace it with positive thoughts, that negativity eventually piles up. Sooner or later we need to deal with it. For me, the practice of deep gratitude is about bearing witness to the pain in life, to the unpleasant, the ugly and the brokenness within us all and finding the lesson, finding the hope, and finding the jewel in the pile of excrement. To me, deep gratitude at all times can be a tantric practice, much like drinking wine out of a skull. We ought not to be grateful for being out of the dark night of the soul. We ought to be grateful for the journey that took us to the darkness within ourselves and to a new way of understanding it.
I am grateful for my teacher, Christina Pratt, and for her wisdom and guidance. It was a joy to see Christina again and to see how well she is doing. I felt blessed to be in her loving presence. I have known her for over 20 years. She was one of my first spiritual teachers and I am grateful to be able to reconnect and to begin a course of study with her. I am grateful for the painful and sometimes horrible visions I have had on my journeys this week. They show me just how profound this work is and have broken open my heart with compassion for the ones whose questions I sought out in my journey. And I am grateful for hot baths and good food that help to keep me grounded when I’ve been walking through someone else’s hell.
On one of my journeys this week, my spirit merged with the person for whom I was journeying and it has left me disquieted. We are all One at the Spirit level but in ordinary reality we need a bit of separation to know who we are and not to take on other people’s pain. In ordinary reality, those glimpses of Oneness help us remember Spirit but separateness has its own merits in allowing us to do our own work. My service this week is to return to the 3 journeys I have taken in the course, for myself. I have been given some pretty big marching orders by Bear Spirit. I’m not sure how to put it into action but this is my task because Spirit asks of you what Spirit needs as much as giving us a vision of what we need in our individual lives. We are all here taking up resources and we all have a purpose. When Spirit tells you your purpose, you better act.
I am offering for the month of October a free journey for anyone who would like to have me journey a question out into Spirit. Drop us a message on the contact form, if you’re interested.